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Working with Meltdowns and Shutdowns

Working with Meltdowns and Shutdowns

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Introduction to Meltdowns and Shutdowns

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What are the similarities and differences between Meltdowns and Shutdowns?

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Meltdowns and Shutdowns in Neurotypicals

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Factors Contributing to Meltdowns and Shutdowns in Autistic Individuals

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Meltdowns and Shutdowns - Causes and Triggers

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Preventing, Reducing, and Recovering from Shutdowns and Meltdowns

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The far-reaching impact of Meltdowns and Shutdowns - Lucy's Story

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Conclusion

INTRODUCTION TO MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS

Navigating the world as an autistic individual often involves encountering situations that can lead to changes of state and behaviour that are often called meltdowns or shutdowns. These meltdown or shutdown experiences, while diverse in their manifestations, often stem from overwhelming sensory, emotional, or informational inputs or stress triggers. The autistic person is struggling to process too much information at one time, and this can lead to feelings of high anxiety and overwhelm. Understanding these responses is crucial for organising support and creating accommodating environments.

Whether in a shutdown or meltdown, the individual temporarily loses control of their behaviour and is unable to express themselves any other way. Meltdowns and shutdowns are not intentional, they are survival responses. They can be misunderstood, for example, a meltdown is not a temper tantrum, and a shutdown is not the silent treatment or shyness but a self-preservation response. Please don’t judge or tease, this will just add to the overwhelm. With a state of high anxiety, flooded with sensory input, the brain becomes overwhelmed and demands a survival response from the body.

WHAT ARE THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS?

Meltdowns are noticeable, they are either a fight, flight, or flood response. This could look like someone losing their temper or even lashing out; running away; or sobbing in the hope of a rescuer. A shutdown is more discrete, possibly invisible, and is either a fawn, flop, or freeze response. This could be in the form of pleasing and appeasing in the hope of avoiding conflict and to establish a sense of safety; having a meltdown inside but showing nothing on the outside; or the body tensing up and becoming stiff, immobilised. Shutdowns can lead to feeling or becoming unresponsive, not being able to move, and can sometimes result in situational mutism, where the person is unable to communicate or speak. The individual may even fall asleep. 

Meltdowns and shutdowns are distinctive reactions for autistic individuals, each with its own unique characteristics. Consider a scenario where an autistic person experiences a meltdown: imagine being in a crowded, noisy environment with bright lights, creating a sensory overload. In response, emotions surge uncontrollably, leading to an outburst or breakdown. Conversely, in a shutdown, the same individual might withdraw and become non-responsive to cope with the overwhelming stimuli. The feelings are trapped inside when in shutdown, whereas the feelings are expressed in meltdowns.

People can experience both meltdowns and shutdowns, and the specific response may vary based on the situation.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS ACROSS NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUALS

Meltdowns and shutdowns are not exclusive to autism and can be part of the experience of neurodivergent individuals, such as ADHD or anxiety disorders. For instance, individuals with ADHD might experience overwhelm and sensory sensitivity that can lead to meltdowns, while those with anxiety disorders may be prone to shutdowns during periods of heightened stress. The specific triggers, manifestations, and responses can vary widely across neurodivergent individuals.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS IN NEUROTYPICALS

Neurotypical individuals, those without neurodivergent traits, can also experience episodes that share similarities with meltdowns and shutdowns, albeit with some differences in terminology and context. For example, a neurotypical individual might experience an emotional breakdown or a state of emotional overwhelm, which can have similarities to a meltdown. Similarly, a neurotypical person might describe periods of withdrawal, emotional shutdown, or burnout, which can align with the concept of shutdowns.

While terminology may differ, the underlying experiences of intense emotional states, sensory overload, or emotional withdrawal can be present in individuals across the neurodiversity spectrum. It’s crucial to recognise that everyone, regardless of neurodivergent status, can have moments of emotional distress or times when they need to manage sensory and emotional wellbeing.

FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS IN AUTISTIC INDIVIDUALS

The heightened prevalence of meltdowns and shutdowns in autistic individuals can be attributed to a combination of factors such as heighted sensory processing compared with neurotypicals, being neurodivergent in a predominantly neurotypical world, as well as individual differences. Understanding and acknowledging the diverse experiences of meltdowns and shutdowns contribute to fostering a more supportive environment.

By embracing the neurodiversity paradigm, we can appreciate the unique perspectives everyone brings, recognising that everyone, regardless of neurotypical-neurodivergent status, can all have our moments of emotional distress. Let’s continue the drive of designing a world that celebrates and supports the rich variety of neurological experiences! With that in mind, let’s delve into examples of causes and triggers of meltdowns and shutdowns, and possible coping strategies and prevention techniques.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS – CAUSES AND TRIGGERS

To the observer, it can look like something small has triggered a meltdown or shutdown, but it is usually a build-up of multiple daily stress factors. For example:

    • Chronic high demand situations such as juggling unrealistic deadlines with a lack of resource, in an unfriendly sensory environment and in an unsupportive culture … unfortunately this is a typical workplace for some! This can feel more like white-knuckle-riding through work-life rather than thriving.
    • High demand situations such as networking events where the autistic individual may feel socially unsafe because we have different wiring to allistics when it comes to socialising as well as being a minority group. 
    • Very emotional situations such as conflict situations.
    • Sensory overload such as bright lights, noise, crowds, itchy clothing.
    • Experiencing changes without warning.
    • Basic needs that have been overlooked such as thirst, hunger, pain, and exhaustion.

PREVENTING, REDUCING, AND RECOVERING FROM SHUTDOWNS AND MELTDOWNS

Before experiencing a meltdown or shutdown, many people will show signs of distress or anxiety. There could be pacing, repetitive questions, repetitive statements or expressions, repetitive body movements or repetative movement of objects, more masking, or being quieter and more withdrawn than usual.

To minimise these experiences, recognising triggers plays a vital role. Different people will have different triggers and responses. The best thing to do is to consider triggers and needs when in a calm state, not when in a meltdown or shutdown. That way you can work out specific needs and agree a plan for the best way to prevent, reduce, and recover from a meltdown or shutdown going forward.  Here are a few things that can help:

    • Learn to self-advocate for your needs, or ask for advocacy support. Knowing there is moral and practical support goes a long way.
    • Take time out to reset and remember that this will only be temporary. A quick way to recover and recharge is to find flow in an activity you love, perhaps a hobby or favourite movie or TV programme. 
    • Identify or create quiet spaces to help reduce sensory overload – if the space can be equipped with sensory-friendly items like noise-cancelling headphones, fidget toys, or weighted blankets, all the better. 
    • Remove any objects, people, or sounds that are creating sensory overload, if possible.
    • Practice breathing techniques, or other self-soothing techniques, so that you can automatically use them when needed or model them for someone else. Breathe in for 5 to 6 seconds, then breathe out for 5 to 6 seconds. This can help calm the amygdala and reset the mind and body. Shallow breathing sets off the amygdala.
    • Muscle relaxation techniques can help calm the amygdala. Tense and relax the muscles where the tension usually sits. For example, quickly tense your hands into fists then relax them with your palms facing upwards.
    • Create an event timetable or form predictable routines to provide a sense of structure and security. This helps prevent overwhelming situations.
    • Accommodations play a crucial role – simple adjustments like flexible work schedules, allowing breaks, providing clear communication, and creating sensory-friendly environments can make a significant difference to wellbeing, working relationships, and productivity. 
    • Avoid asking questions, giving information or instructions, teasing, or using restrictive methods, when someone is in a meltdown or shutdown. This will most likely increase sensory overload and would likely make the situation worse.
    • Continually enhance emotional intelligence skills. The more self-aware we are, the more we can understand and communicate our needs, and understand others’ needs. Together we can be in a healthier place! Bear in mind that for some individuals, the difficulty in identifying emotions might stem from past trauma or overwhelming experiences. When trauma hinders the recognition of emotions, focus on creating a safe and supportive environment. Employing strategies that promote a sense of safety and trust can gradually facilitate emotional identification and regulation.

THE FAR-REACHING IMPACT OF MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS

Now, we shift our focus to the profound impact that meltdowns and shutdowns can have on an individual’s quality of life. 

Lucy’s Story: A Case Study

Take Lucy for instance, a newly qualified hairdresser who experienced sensory overload in a new working environment, prompting her resignation within a week due to the change in environment. The salon she had dedicated three years to closed and relocated, adding an extra bus journey to her daily commute. The previous salon offered modern subdued and mood lighting, ample space for personal comfort, and a culture that was welcoming, friendly, and supportive – a truly nurturing environment, that both employees and clients enjoyed. In contrast, the new salon was smaller, brighter, and crowded, with a less welcoming and supportive culture heavily influenced by dominant personalities. The overwhelming lighting, noise, densely populated space, and less supportive work culture, became too much for Lucy, leading to frequent shutdowns. This was on top of her busy peak-hour bus journeys to and from work. No doubt clients who transferred to the new salon, clients with with sensory issues like Lucy, were forced to find a new hairdressing salon too!

Accommodations and support in personal and professional life

The culture of the new salon was, “if I can do it, so can everyone else.” While no one intended harm in this situation, awareness of healthy resilience, and awareness about hidden traits, coupled with positive action can make a substantial difference to the quality of people’s lives.

Lucy is now recovering from her experience and career derailment. In her new job search, she is seeking a sensory friendly environment coupled with a professional and welcoming culture.

This was an insight into shutdowns. For a fantastic thorough insight into meltdowns, try listening to or reading “Strong Female Character” by Fern Brady.

CONCLUSION

The goal of this article is to promote understanding, compassion, and support. Autism is a spectrum, and people may have different preferences, sensitivities, and experiences. This was Lucy’s unique experience. Each person’s journey is distinct, and the impact of meltdowns and shutdowns can vary widely.

Awareness and positive action are pivotal in supporting autistic individuals who experience meltdowns and shutdowns. By fostering a welcoming environment and acknowledging the unique needs of each person, we can create spaces where autistic individuals can thrive too. Well-designed spaces and supportive nurturing cultures are better not just for autistic individuals, but for most people.

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, 30 January 2024

References

  1. Meltdowns and Shutdowns – Autism Space, Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust
  2. Meltdowns – a guide for all audiences, National Autistic Society
  3. The University of Edinburgh Autism Awareness and Acceptance
  4. “Taming Your Amygdala” by Catherine M Pittman PhD
  5. “Strong Female Character” Audiobook by Fern Brady, Publisher Brazen Feb 2023

You may be interested in the following articles:

Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence

What are Emotional Intelligence Skills – an Introduction

What are Emotional Intelligence Skills?

What are Emotional Intelligence Skills?

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Introduction to Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence Skill: Self-Perception

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Emotional Intelligence Skill: Self-Expression

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Emotional Intelligence Skill: Interpersonal

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Emotional Intelligence Skill: Decision-Making

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Emotional Intelligence Skill: Stress Management

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Conclusion

INTRODUCTION TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILLS

Think of emotional intelligence as a set of skills that help you understand and manage your own emotions and how they impact your interactions with others. It’s like having a toolbox of skills to navigate your feelings and relationships in a healthier and more effective way. In addition, emotional intelligence also enables you to flourish at work and beyond, with its performance and holistic wellbeing skills. To begin our exploration, let’s focus on the first crucial aspect of emotional intelligence: self-perception. 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILL: SELF-PERCEPTION

Self-Perception is like how you see yourself from within. It’s about understanding your emotions, valuing yourself, and working towards your goals in a way that’s aligned with who you are. The following three elements—Emotional Self-Awareness, Self-Regard, and Self-Actualization—combine to create “Self-Perception.”

Emotional Self-Awareness:

This is like having a mirror that allows you to see and understand your own emotions clearly. It’s about recognising what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. Imagine you’re in a situation where you suddenly feel upset. Emotional self-awareness helps you understand that you’re upset because something didn’t go as you expected or because of a specific reason.

Self-Regard:

Think of this as the level of respect and value you have for yourself. It’s about recognising your own worth and treating yourself with kindness and understanding. Imagine you made a mistake at work. Instead of beating yourself up about it, having self-regard means acknowledging the mistake, learning from it, and not letting it define your entire self-worth.

Self-Actualisation:

This is like aiming to become the best version of yourself. It involves setting and working towards meaningful goals that align with your values and passions. Imagine you have a dream to become an artist. Pursuing that dream, even if it’s challenging, is an example of self-actualisation. It’s about becoming the person you want to be and fulfilling your potential.

Imagine you’re on a journey of self-discovery and growth. Emotional self-awareness helps you navigate the twists and turns of your emotions. Self-regard gives you the confidence and compassion to handle challenges. Self-actualisation propels you forward on a path that resonates with your aspirations.

In summary, these elements are like pieces of a puzzle that come together to shape how you perceive and relate to yourself. When you develop these aspects of emotional intelligence, you’re better equipped to handle your feelings, treat yourself kindly, and work towards the best version of yourself.

As we’ve seen, the components of self-perception are integral in shaping how you relate to yourself. Now, let’s turn our attention to another crucial dimension of emotional intelligence: Self-Expression.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILL: SELF-EXPRESSION

Self-expression is how you communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs to the world while staying true to yourself. Self-Expression is how you show the world who you are and what you need, while respecting both yourself and others. The following three elements—Emotional Expression, Assertiveness, and Independence, create “Self-Expression.”

Emotional Expression:

This is like letting your feelings out in a healthy and appropriate way. Imagine you’re really excited about something – emotional expression would be showing that excitement through your words, facial expressions, or body language. It’s about sharing your emotions so others can understand how you’re feeling.

Assertiveness:

Think of this as speaking up for yourself in a respectful and confident way. Imagine you have a different opinion from your friends about where to go for dinner. Being assertive means expressing your preference without being pushy or aggressive. It’s about standing up for what you believe in while also considering the feelings of others.

Independence:

This is like having the ability to make decisions and take care of yourself. Imagine you’re tasked with a project at work. Independence means having the confidence and skills to tackle the project on your own, without needing constant guidance. It’s about being self-reliant and capable.

Think of it as your unique voice. Just like how you might sing a song in your own style, self-expression is about communicating your feelings, opinions, and desires in a way that reflects your personality and values.

Imagine you’re at a gathering where everyone is sharing their thoughts. Emotional expression helps you communicate your feelings honestly. Assertiveness empowers you to contribute your opinions confidently. Independence ensures you’re expressing your authentic self without relying too heavily on others’ approval.

In summary, these concepts come together to create your self-expression toolkit. When you learn to express your emotions, thoughts, and needs openly but respectfully, while also being confident and self-reliant, you’re better equipped to communicate your true self to the world around you.

Having explored the importance of self-expression and effective communication, let’s now shift our focus to the realm of interpersonal relationships.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILL: INTERPERSONAL

Think of these concepts as the ways you relate to and interact with other people, while also considering their feelings and well-being. These skills help you connect with others in meaningful ways while considering their feelings and the greater good. The following three elements—Interpersonal Relationships, Empathy, and Social Responsibility, create Interpersonal Skills.

Interpersonal Relationships:

This is like the connections you build with others – your friendships, family bonds, and working relationships. Imagine you have a close friend you can talk to about anything. That’s an interpersonal relationship. It’s about creating connections and understanding with the people around you.

Empathy:

Think of this as putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand how they might be feeling. Imagine your friend is sad because they lost their pet. Empathy means you can feel their sadness too, even though you didn’t experience the same thing. It’s about showing that you care and trying to understand others’ emotions.

Social Responsibility:

This is like caring about the well-being of your community and the world. Imagine you and your friends decide to clean up a local park together. Social responsibility means you’re taking action to make your surroundings better for everyone. It’s about doing your part to contribute positively to society. Together, we make the difference.

Imagine you are part of a team project. Interpersonal relationships help you work well with your teammates, building trust and cooperation. Empathy helps you understand your teammates’ perspectives, making collaboration smoother. Social responsibility guides you to contribute your best efforts for the team’s success and the benefit of everyone involved.

In summary, these concepts form the foundation for how you interact with people around you. When you have healthy relationships, can understand others’ feelings, and care about the well-being of your community, you’re equipped with strong interpersonal skills that make your interactions more positive and meaningful.

Now that we’ve delved into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships, let’s turn our attention to another vital aspect of emotional intelligence: how it influences our decision-making.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILL: DECISION-MAKING

The following three elements—Problem Solving, Reality Testing, and Impulse Control—come together to shape effective “Decision-Making Skills.” Think of these elements as the tools you use to make thoughtful choices, considering the facts and potential outcomes. These skills help you make choices that are well-informed, logical, and aligned with your goals.

Problem Solving:

This is like finding solutions to challenges or puzzles. Imagine you must figure out how to fit all your clothes into a small suitcase for a trip. Problem-solving is about brainstorming ideas and choosing the best way to solve the issue. It’s also about understanding how emotions impact the decision-making process.

Reality Testing:

Think of this as checking the accuracy of your thoughts and assumptions against reality. Imagine you’re worried that your friend is upset with you. Reality testing means talking to your friend to see if your assumption is correct or if there’s a different explanation for their behaviour.

Impulse Control:

This is like managing the urge to act on your first instinct without thinking things through. Imagine you see a delicious cake, but you’re trying to eat healthier. Impulse control helps you pause and think before deciding whether to have a slice or not.

Imagine you’re trying to choose a course or degree programme to study. Problem-solving helps you research different options and consider which one matches your interests and strengths. Reality testing involves talking to people in those study fields to get a clear picture of what each study programme entails. Impulse control ensures you don’t rush into a decision based on a fleeting feeling but instead take your time to weigh the pros and cons.

In summary, these concepts work together to guide your decision-making process. When you’re able to solve problems creatively, verify your assumptions, and control impulsive reactions, you’re better equipped to make choices that lead to positive outcomes and reflect your true desires and values.

Having explored how effective decision-making influences our choices and outcomes, let’s now turn our attention to the vital role of emotional intelligence in managing stress.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILL: STRESS MANAGEMENT 

The following three elements—Flexibility, Stress Tolerance, and Optimism—come together to form effective “Stress Management Skills.” Think of these elements as strategies and attitudes that help you navigate and cope with challenging situations in a healthier and more positive way. These skills help you cope with stressors in a balanced way, maintaining your well-being even when facing difficulties.

Flexibility:

This is like being able to adapt your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours to changes and unexpected situations. Imagine your original weekend plans got cancelled due to bad weather. Flexibility means adjusting your plans and finding something enjoyable to do indoors instead of getting upset about the change.

Stress Tolerance:

Think of this as your ability to handle pressure and difficult situations without becoming overwhelmed. Imagine you have a busy week with lots of tasks. Stress tolerance helps you stay focused, manage your responsibilities, or influence situations in a positive manner, without letting stress take control.

Optimism:

This is like having a positive outlook, even when things get tough. Imagine you faced a setback at work. Optimism means believing that setbacks are temporary and that you can remain hopeful and resilient, overcome challenges, and achieve your goals.

Imagine you’re dealing with a tight deadline for a project. Flexibility helps you adjust your approach if unexpected obstacles arise. Stress tolerance enables you to keep your cool and work efficiently despite the pressure. Optimism helps you stay motivated and believe in your ability to meet the deadline successfully.

In summary, these concepts work together to help you manage stress more effectively. When you’re able to adapt to changes, handle pressure without being overwhelmed, and maintain a positive perspective, you’re better equipped to navigate challenging situations while maintaining your mental and emotional balance.

As we’ve explored the power of emotional intelligence in managing stress and maintaining mental and emotional balance, it’s clear that these skills have a profound impact on our well-being. Now, let’s bring our journey full circle by reflecting on the broader implications of these skills as we conclude our exploration of emotional intelligence.

CONCLUSION

In wrapping up our journey through the world of emotional intelligence, we’ve uncovered a treasure trove of skills that are as useful in everyday life as they are in meeting rooms. We started by dissecting what emotional intelligence really means – a toolkit of abilities that lets us understand and manage our feelings while also building solid relationships. Self-perception, self-expression, and mastering how we interact with others all play a pivotal role.

As we navigated through these emotional waters, we discovered how emotional intelligence plays a major role in decision-making. It’s not just about thinking with your head; it’s about factoring in your emotions wisely. By embracing this, we’re better equipped to make choices that align with our desires and values.

But emotional intelligence isn’t just about how we make decisions – it’s also about how we handle the stress that comes our way. Being flexible in our approach, having the stamina to tolerate stress, and nurturing an optimistic outlook all contribute to a well-rounded, emotionally intelligent response to life’s challenges.

In the grand scheme of things, emotional intelligence is like a toolkit for better living. It’s about understanding ourselves, expressing our feelings effectively, getting along with others, making smart decisions, and managing stress. So, as we go forward, let’s remember that the skills we’ve explored aren’t just theoretical – they’re practical tools that can help us navigate life with a greater sense of purpose, understanding, and resilience.

This post is based on the first scientifically validated emotional intelligence tool, the BarOn EQ-i. I can offer this profiling tool with a feedback session. 

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, on 1 October 2023