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Embracing Autism: A Journey of Self-Discovery & Advocacy

Embracing Autism: A Journey of Self-Discovery & Advocacy

Introducing Joyce CoomberSewell

Meet Joyce CoomberSewell, a remarkable individual with a vibrant spirit and unique perspective on life. Joyce embraces her autistic identity, and in her article below, she generously shares her experiences, challenges, and celebrations, offering insights into the intricacies of neurodiversity. With a mission to normalise autism, Joyce advocates for understanding, debunking misconceptions, and highlighting the superpowers within neurodiversity. Enjoy Joyce’s inspiring story in Embracing Autism: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Advocacy.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Introduction

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Understanding Neurodiversity

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Challenges and Celebrations

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Personal Experiences

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Messages for Autistic and Allistic Individuals

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Misconceptions and Education

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Support and Advocacy

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Looking Forward

​Introduction

Hi, my name is Joyce CoomberSewell, I am 69 years old, and I’ve always known that I am different toother people around me. By the age of four I had decided that I was probably an alien dropped from another planet.

At school, though I hung out with a group of girls, I always felt like I was on the outside. This feeling of not quite fitting in continues throughout all my life, no matter what social circles I am part of; work, social clubs, relationships, and friendships.

I have three daughters, 11 grandchildren, one great granddaughter and another great grandchild on the way. Over time six of my grandchildren have been diagnosed with autism, this prompted me to seek out my own diagnosis.

I started this journey at the age of 58, though it took me two attempts and a total of five years.

My first attempt resulted in me being diagnosed with ADHD and Dyspraxia, but I was told that as I had not managed to have the third questionnaire filled in by someone who knew me as a child, I could not be given a diagnosis of autism even though they were 98% certain that I was autistic.

On my second attempt when I was 63 I was diagnosed but have the initials NOS added on at the end. NOS stands for Not Otherwise Specified. Again, as I knew no living person who knew me as a small child I could not get one of their questionnaires filled in. This is a common problem for older people.

Understanding Neurodiversity

As an autistic person, with a normal to higher IQ, I struggle with the word neurodiversity. After all is not every single human diverse to any other human or is it just me who has never met two identical, in every way, people. My wife is an identical twin, but she and her sister have quite a few differences.

The word neurodiversity just means that the neurons in everybody’s brains are different to anyone else’s.

Challenges & Celebrations

Like for all human beings there are challenges and celebrations to our humanness. 

As an autistic these challenges and celebrations can be a little bit more unique. For instance, being part of a social gathering may not be our first choice, though for me I find these easier to cope with if I have a role to play.

Some autistics find it extremely difficult to make eye contact, though this is not something I struggle with personally. What I do struggle with is excessive hugging. I’ve learnt to do the polite quick hug, peck on the cheek thing but I’m happier with a nod and a smile.

All human beings have repetitive habits. This might be playing with your hair, tapping our feet or fingers, or pulling facial expressions et cetera. But for some reason if you are autistic the words ‘repetitive habit’ is replaced with the word ‘stimming’? 

Personal Experiences

Once I had been medically diagnosed as autistic, I found it much more freeing knowing what was the reason for my ‘differences’. I now don’t view myself as odd, unlikable or any other negative thought. In fact, I am now very, very out, and proud. I would never want to be anything other than autistic as that is who I am.

My autistic mind helps me to think way outside the box. I can come up with great ideas for not only work but also for having adventures. For example, over the summer we launched our second company, CoomberSewell Training CIC. And when we next go to Malta we will be going on a sunset horse ride along the beach. Not bad for a 69 year old, eh?

Messages for Autistic and Allistic Individuals

I often speak to other people who are already diagnosed or self-diagnosed as autistic who feel ashamed and try and hide this wonderful condition. I always encourage them to join the cause of normalising the autistic condition just like the non-autistics have normalised their non-autistic condition. After all, us autistics are the ‘A’ team.

One of my missions in life is to help the non-autistic populace to understand that autism is a superpower and should not be overlooked. Of course, there are people who have severe learning differences who should get all the love and care and support they need, but I am not talking about those individuals. I’m talking about us average autistics who have normal to higher IQs. After all, if it wasn’t for us, technology, the arts, and music would not be where they are today.

Misconceptions and Education

A lot of people within society believe that autistic people have learning difficulties. This is NOT true. We do have differences, just the same as non-autistic people do. You see in the autistic world non-autistics are the weird one’s not us.

One of the things I really enjoy doing is being a public speaker, not only to educate non-autistics but to show the autistic population that it’s okay to tell people that they are autistic. You see, the more we talk about it the more we normalise it. My hope and dream is that sometime in the future we will no longer need the labels that we need today to educate people. That in time we will see past the differences and just accept one another as fellow human beings.

Support and Advocacy

I would really encourage all different types of workplaces to have a standard training in autism. By this I don’t just mean those who work directly with individual autistic people but also the caretakers, the cleaners, the managing directors, the CEOs, and everybody in between.

The better educated everyone is on all aspects of human differences the easier it will be for us all to live side-by-side. Often people judge others out of fear about themselves and their differences. An example of this was shared to me by a lovely 83-year-old lady. She told me that when she was at school her teacher berated her because she was left-handed. She was told that she was simple, and wilful because she couldn’t write with her right hand. I put it to her that maybe her teacher felt threatened that this small little girl could do something they couldn’t do?

Looking Forward

Knowledge is the key, without knowledge misconceptions can perpetuate.

Here at CoomberSewell Enterprises Training CIC we can help you on your journey of knowledge. All of our training courses are CPD should you need this within your employment. If not, we can offer a certificate of attendance if that is more appropriate.

Our training courses are:

Autism and young people (under 18’s), Autism and older people (over 18’s), Presentation skills for the presentation phobic, and Study skills/interview skills.

Alongside this CoomberSewell Enterprises LLP offers:

Public Speaking on ‘This Is Me And My Autistic Journey’, and Proofreading, copy editing and academic transcription.

You can find more information on all these subjects by following the links to our websites: www.autism.coombersewell.co.uk and www.coombersewell.co.uk or contact us by email info@coombersewell.co.uk

Working with Meltdowns and Shutdowns

Working with Meltdowns and Shutdowns

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Introduction to Meltdowns and Shutdowns

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What are the similarities and differences between Meltdowns and Shutdowns?

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Meltdowns and Shutdowns in Neurotypicals

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Factors Contributing to Meltdowns and Shutdowns in Autistic Individuals

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Meltdowns and Shutdowns - Causes and Triggers

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Preventing, Reducing, and Recovering from Shutdowns and Meltdowns

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The far-reaching impact of Meltdowns and Shutdowns - Lucy's Story

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Conclusion

INTRODUCTION TO MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS

Navigating the world as an autistic individual often involves encountering situations that can lead to changes of state and behaviour that are often called meltdowns or shutdowns. These meltdown or shutdown experiences, while diverse in their manifestations, often stem from overwhelming sensory, emotional, or informational inputs or stress triggers. The autistic person is struggling to process too much information at one time, and this can lead to feelings of high anxiety and overwhelm. Understanding these responses is crucial for organising support and creating accommodating environments.

Whether in a shutdown or meltdown, the individual temporarily loses control of their behaviour and is unable to express themselves any other way. Meltdowns and shutdowns are not intentional, they are survival responses. They can be misunderstood, for example, a meltdown is not a temper tantrum, and a shutdown is not the silent treatment or shyness but a self-preservation response. Please don’t judge or tease, this will just add to the overwhelm. With a state of high anxiety, flooded with sensory input, the brain becomes overwhelmed and demands a survival response from the body.

WHAT ARE THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS?

Meltdowns are noticeable, they are either a fight, flight, or flood response. This could look like someone losing their temper or even lashing out; running away; or sobbing in the hope of a rescuer. A shutdown is more discrete, possibly invisible, and is either a fawn, flop, or freeze response. This could be in the form of pleasing and appeasing in the hope of avoiding conflict and to establish a sense of safety; having a meltdown inside but showing nothing on the outside; or the body tensing up and becoming stiff, immobilised. Shutdowns can lead to feeling or becoming unresponsive, not being able to move, and can sometimes result in situational mutism, where the person is unable to communicate or speak. The individual may even fall asleep. 

Meltdowns and shutdowns are distinctive reactions for autistic individuals, each with its own unique characteristics. Consider a scenario where an autistic person experiences a meltdown: imagine being in a crowded, noisy environment with bright lights, creating a sensory overload. In response, emotions surge uncontrollably, leading to an outburst or breakdown. Conversely, in a shutdown, the same individual might withdraw and become non-responsive to cope with the overwhelming stimuli. The feelings are trapped inside when in shutdown, whereas the feelings are expressed in meltdowns.

People can experience both meltdowns and shutdowns, and the specific response may vary based on the situation.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS ACROSS NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUALS

Meltdowns and shutdowns are not exclusive to autism and can be part of the experience of neurodivergent individuals, such as ADHD or anxiety disorders. For instance, individuals with ADHD might experience overwhelm and sensory sensitivity that can lead to meltdowns, while those with anxiety disorders may be prone to shutdowns during periods of heightened stress. The specific triggers, manifestations, and responses can vary widely across neurodivergent individuals.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS IN NEUROTYPICALS

Neurotypical individuals, those without neurodivergent traits, can also experience episodes that share similarities with meltdowns and shutdowns, albeit with some differences in terminology and context. For example, a neurotypical individual might experience an emotional breakdown or a state of emotional overwhelm, which can have similarities to a meltdown. Similarly, a neurotypical person might describe periods of withdrawal, emotional shutdown, or burnout, which can align with the concept of shutdowns.

While terminology may differ, the underlying experiences of intense emotional states, sensory overload, or emotional withdrawal can be present in individuals across the neurodiversity spectrum. It’s crucial to recognise that everyone, regardless of neurodivergent status, can have moments of emotional distress or times when they need to manage sensory and emotional wellbeing.

FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS IN AUTISTIC INDIVIDUALS

The heightened prevalence of meltdowns and shutdowns in autistic individuals can be attributed to a combination of factors such as heighted sensory processing compared with neurotypicals, being neurodivergent in a predominantly neurotypical world, as well as individual differences. Understanding and acknowledging the diverse experiences of meltdowns and shutdowns contribute to fostering a more supportive environment.

By embracing the neurodiversity paradigm, we can appreciate the unique perspectives everyone brings, recognising that everyone, regardless of neurotypical-neurodivergent status, can all have our moments of emotional distress. Let’s continue the drive of designing a world that celebrates and supports the rich variety of neurological experiences! With that in mind, let’s delve into examples of causes and triggers of meltdowns and shutdowns, and possible coping strategies and prevention techniques.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS – CAUSES AND TRIGGERS

To the observer, it can look like something small has triggered a meltdown or shutdown, but it is usually a build-up of multiple daily stress factors. For example:

    • Chronic high demand situations such as juggling unrealistic deadlines with a lack of resource, in an unfriendly sensory environment and in an unsupportive culture … unfortunately this is a typical workplace for some! This can feel more like white-knuckle-riding through work-life rather than thriving.
    • High demand situations such as networking events where the autistic individual may feel socially unsafe because we have different wiring to allistics when it comes to socialising as well as being a minority group. 
    • Very emotional situations such as conflict situations.
    • Sensory overload such as bright lights, noise, crowds, itchy clothing.
    • Experiencing changes without warning.
    • Basic needs that have been overlooked such as thirst, hunger, pain, and exhaustion.

PREVENTING, REDUCING, AND RECOVERING FROM SHUTDOWNS AND MELTDOWNS

Before experiencing a meltdown or shutdown, many people will show signs of distress or anxiety. There could be pacing, repetitive questions, repetitive statements or expressions, repetitive body movements or repetative movement of objects, more masking, or being quieter and more withdrawn than usual.

To minimise these experiences, recognising triggers plays a vital role. Different people will have different triggers and responses. The best thing to do is to consider triggers and needs when in a calm state, not when in a meltdown or shutdown. That way you can work out specific needs and agree a plan for the best way to prevent, reduce, and recover from a meltdown or shutdown going forward.  Here are a few things that can help:

    • Learn to self-advocate for your needs, or ask for advocacy support. Knowing there is moral and practical support goes a long way.
    • Take time out to reset and remember that this will only be temporary. A quick way to recover and recharge is to find flow in an activity you love, perhaps a hobby or favourite movie or TV programme. 
    • Identify or create quiet spaces to help reduce sensory overload – if the space can be equipped with sensory-friendly items like noise-cancelling headphones, fidget toys, or weighted blankets, all the better. 
    • Remove any objects, people, or sounds that are creating sensory overload, if possible.
    • Practice breathing techniques, or other self-soothing techniques, so that you can automatically use them when needed or model them for someone else. Breathe in for 5 to 6 seconds, then breathe out for 5 to 6 seconds. This can help calm the amygdala and reset the mind and body. Shallow breathing sets off the amygdala.
    • Muscle relaxation techniques can help calm the amygdala. Tense and relax the muscles where the tension usually sits. For example, quickly tense your hands into fists then relax them with your palms facing upwards.
    • Create an event timetable or form predictable routines to provide a sense of structure and security. This helps prevent overwhelming situations.
    • Accommodations play a crucial role – simple adjustments like flexible work schedules, allowing breaks, providing clear communication, and creating sensory-friendly environments can make a significant difference to wellbeing, working relationships, and productivity. 
    • Avoid asking questions, giving information or instructions, teasing, or using restrictive methods, when someone is in a meltdown or shutdown. This will most likely increase sensory overload and would likely make the situation worse.
    • Continually enhance emotional intelligence skills. The more self-aware we are, the more we can understand and communicate our needs, and understand others’ needs. Together we can be in a healthier place! Bear in mind that for some individuals, the difficulty in identifying emotions might stem from past trauma or overwhelming experiences. When trauma hinders the recognition of emotions, focus on creating a safe and supportive environment. Employing strategies that promote a sense of safety and trust can gradually facilitate emotional identification and regulation.

THE FAR-REACHING IMPACT OF MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS

Now, we shift our focus to the profound impact that meltdowns and shutdowns can have on an individual’s quality of life. 

Lucy’s Story: A Case Study

Take Lucy for instance, a newly qualified hairdresser who experienced sensory overload in a new working environment, prompting her resignation within a week due to the change in environment. The salon she had dedicated three years to closed and relocated, adding an extra bus journey to her daily commute. The previous salon offered modern subdued and mood lighting, ample space for personal comfort, and a culture that was welcoming, friendly, and supportive – a truly nurturing environment, that both employees and clients enjoyed. In contrast, the new salon was smaller, brighter, and crowded, with a less welcoming and supportive culture heavily influenced by dominant personalities. The overwhelming lighting, noise, densely populated space, and less supportive work culture, became too much for Lucy, leading to frequent shutdowns. This was on top of her busy peak-hour bus journeys to and from work. No doubt clients who transferred to the new salon, clients with with sensory issues like Lucy, were forced to find a new hairdressing salon too!

Accommodations and support in personal and professional life

The culture of the new salon was, “if I can do it, so can everyone else.” While no one intended harm in this situation, awareness of healthy resilience, and awareness about hidden traits, coupled with positive action can make a substantial difference to the quality of people’s lives.

Lucy is now recovering from her experience and career derailment. In her new job search, she is seeking a sensory friendly environment coupled with a professional and welcoming culture.

This was an insight into shutdowns. For a fantastic thorough insight into meltdowns, try listening to or reading “Strong Female Character” by Fern Brady.

CONCLUSION

The goal of this article is to promote understanding, compassion, and support. Autism is a spectrum, and people may have different preferences, sensitivities, and experiences. This was Lucy’s unique experience. Each person’s journey is distinct, and the impact of meltdowns and shutdowns can vary widely.

Awareness and positive action are pivotal in supporting autistic individuals who experience meltdowns and shutdowns. By fostering a welcoming environment and acknowledging the unique needs of each person, we can create spaces where autistic individuals can thrive too. Well-designed spaces and supportive nurturing cultures are better not just for autistic individuals, but for most people.

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, 30 January 2024

References

  1. Meltdowns and Shutdowns – Autism Space, Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust
  2. Meltdowns – a guide for all audiences, National Autistic Society
  3. The University of Edinburgh Autism Awareness and Acceptance
  4. “Taming Your Amygdala” by Catherine M Pittman PhD
  5. “Strong Female Character” Audiobook by Fern Brady, Publisher Brazen Feb 2023

You may be interested in the following articles:

Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence

What are Emotional Intelligence Skills – an Introduction

Inclusivity in Action: Challenges to Opportunities

Inclusivity in Action: Challenges to Opportunities

Inclusivity in Action:

Transforming Challenges into Opportunities

Understanding Challenges in Diversity

Diversity and inclusion are vital aspects of fostering an enabling and thriving organisational culture. Proactive efforts to accommodate various needs and empower individuals to contribute their best, helps create that enabling and thriving organisational culture.

Consider Sara, Autistic ADHD Dyslexic, a professional who faced challenges while tasked with taking meeting minutes in a new business setting. The meetings, lasting around two hours, involved ten attendees, and were filled with new terminologies she was struggling to grasp. Despite attempts to record sessions (an accommodation), the poor sound quality hindered effective playback, leaving Sara in a difficult position to provide accurate minutes.

Sara was highly anxious and worried about how her inability to take minutes would be viewed by her new employer and team members. She was concerned whether the Head of Services would warm to the idea of changing how the meetings were run. As it turned out, this scenario sparked discussions and ideas on how to accommodate Sara while ensuring the business received comprehensive meeting minutes.

Exploring Accommodation Possibilities

Some suggestions included removing the task and reallocating it to another team member, leveraging better recording technology (technology that could record and transcribe), revising meeting structures, or seeking summarised key points at the end of each agenda item.

Sara brought up taking medication as a potential solution but was concerned about the side effects. The team appreciated her vulnerability in bringing this up as an option and respected her decision not to take medication.

The team decided to take the opportunity to revamp the way meetings are chaired to support Sara in her minute-taking task and ensure succinct actionable minutes are taken. Sometimes accommodating needs is an opportunity to enhance ways of working which also benefits others and the business.

Reshaping Organisational Culture

The conversations around accommodating Sara’s needs reflect a pivotal opportunity to reshape the organisational culture from the bottom-up. Adapting meeting procedures not only supports Sara but can enhance overall efficiency, benefiting the entire team and the business. This improved way of working could be rolled out to other teams in due course.

The process of accommodating diverse needs within a team might initially present challenges and require patience. Yet, these adjustments can offer opportunities for growth and innovation, leading to a more supportive and efficient working environment.

Ultimately, finding the right accommodations for Sara—and any individual within a team—requires an open dialogue and willingness to explore a variety of solutions. Embracing diversity isn’t just about meeting legal requirements; it’s about nurturing an environment where every member feels valued and empowered to contribute their unique strengths.

Conclusion: Nurturing Diversity for Success

In conclusion, accommodating diverse needs in the workplace isn’t merely a task; it’s an opportunity to shape a more supportive and efficient organisational culture—one where individuals like Sara can thrive and contribute meaningfully.

I hope this blog is interesting and useful to you. We all have our unique strengths and challenges, and finding what accommodations work best for you, and others, is a journey. What accommodations have worked for you, others, and your business? I’d love to hear from you.

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, on 5 December 2023

 

 

You may be interested in the following article:

Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence: 8 Ways to Improve Communications in the Neurodiversity Spectrum.

The Value of Diversity: Beyond Labels to Strengths

The Value of Diversity: Beyond Labels to Strengths

The Value of Diversity: Beyond Labels to Strengths

Strengths in Our Differences

While I’ve never been a fan of labels, especially those related to neurodiversity, I can recognise their value. Labels can be viewed as limiting, but until something better comes along, they can be powerful tools for understanding ourselves and others better. They provide a language for navigating the complexities of our identities and can be instrumental in connecting those in need with the support they require. In this blog, we’ll delve into the positive aspects of labels, exploring how they serve not as limitations but as facilitators of self-awareness and community.

Labels can help us appreciate the unique strengths within each person. Whether it’s Myers-Briggs Personalities, autism, ADHD, dyspraxia, and neurotypical (individuals without neurodivergent traits), each label brings something insightful. We are however, always more than a label. 

Personality profiling tools: offer insights into how we process information, make decisions, and interact with the world. For example, Myers Briggs Personality Profiles.

Autism: strengths can include great attention to detail, innovative thinking, high levels of concentration, reliability, conscientiousness, persistence, ability to identify errors, technical ability, detailed factual knowledge and an excellent memory, integrity, understanding of diversity, sense of gratitude, positive attitude, honest and accepting.

ADHD: strengths can include loads of creativity, adaptability, resourcefulness, empathy, hyperfocus, quality, intuition, detail oriented, good in a crisis (when others are in a crisis, those with ADHD can be cool, calm, and under control), and the ability to see many, if not all, sides of a situation.

Dyspraxia: strengths can include determination, creative and strategic problem solvers, original thinkers, persistence, hard-working and highly motivated.

Neurotypical: strengths can include good verbal communications, managing tasks effectively – the ability to shift from one task or subject to another, strong executive functioning, and the ability to participate in loud, crowded, or visually overwhelming settings with ease. Schools, sport leagues, and places of employment are typically designed to accommodate people who fit into these norms.

Instead of boxing us in, these labels can open doors to understanding. In general, Myers-Briggs unveils unique personality traits; Autism can turn tasks into masterpieces; ADHD can breathe life into ideas; dyspraxia can overcome challenges with creativity; and neurotypical can bring effective communication to the table.

The Cost of Not Embracing Diversity

When differences are perceived through a negative lens or worse, dismissed altogether, we not only risk stifling innovation, limiting collaboration, and hindering the full potential of our collective capabilities, but also jeopardising the well-being of those who are considered different.

Embracing diversity isn’t just about being politically correct; it’s a pathway to resilience, innovation, and sustained success – not just a nicety but a strategic imperative. As we navigate the labels within our teams and workplaces, let’s consider the true cost of not fully embracing the strengths that lie within our differences, both for the success of our endeavours and the well-being of those who contribute to them.

Neurodiversity is Vast and Varied

We’ve touched on a few labels, but these represent only a small part of the diverse range of experiences. Neurodiversity encompasses a broad spectrum. Our exploration here is just a starting point, and there is much more to learn and understand about the different ways in which the human mind can manifest within the vast and varied world of neurodiversity.

Curious to explore more on the neurodiversity spectrum and how it intersects with emotional intelligence? Discover in our blog, ‘Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence: 8 Ways to Improve the Quality of Communications‘ for deeper insights and practical tips.

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, on 10 November 2023

References

  1. “Employing Autistic People – A Guide for Employers”, National Autistic Society [Link] 
  2. “What do autistic employees need to be successful in the workplace?” Autism Awareness Australia. Written by Jay Hobbs, Psychologist & Director, Thriving Now Neurodiversity Symposium [Link]
  3. “Top 5 Potential Benefits of ADHD for Employees”, Attention Deficit Disorder Association [Link] 
  4. “Dyspraxia in the Workplace”, Dyspraxia Foundation [Link] 
  5. “Anxiety and Stress in the Workplace”, Anxiety & Depression Association of America [Link]
  6. “The Benefits of Anxiety and Nervousness”, by Katherina Star PhD, verywellmind.org [Link] 
  7. “Using Strengths to Understand Social Anxiety” by Dr Ryan Niemiec, VIA Institute on Character [Link]
  8. “What Does ‘Neurotypical’ Mean?” Lisa Jo Rudy, Very Well Health [Link] 

 

Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence

Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence

8 Ways to Improve Communications in the Neurodiversity Spectrum

Introduction

How can we improve the communication gap between the neuro-majority and neuro-minority groups for the benefit of collective and individual wellbeing, relations, and business? Let’s understand what neurodiversity is first.

1Neurodiversity recognises neurological differences as natural variations, not deviations. Neurodivergent individuals bring unique perspectives to thinking, feeling, and interacting with the world. Accepting and respecting these differences is essential for fostering a truly inclusive environment and the benefits that brings.

It’s worth noting that neurodiversity encompasses a wide range of neurological differences, extending beyond autism, ADHD, and dyslexia. In many workplaces, the neuro-majority, individuals without neurodivergent traits, form the majority. To foster a supportive culture, it’s essential to understand and appreciate both neurodivergent and neuro-majority perspectives, recognising that communications should be a two-way street. 

Accepting that communication preferences vary widely within the neurodiversity spectrum, how can we improve the quality of communications with each other?  Here are some suggestions.

8 ways to improve communications in the neurodiversity spectrum

8 Steps to improve the quality of communications in the neurodiversity spectrum

8 ways to improve the quality of communications in more detail:

1. Understanding neurodiversity: Gain knowledge on various neurodivergences to improve compassion to differences and communication. Information can be found on websites such as the National Autistic Society, ADHD Foundation, British Dyslexia Association, Dyspraxia Foundation, and MIND.

2. Challenging limiting beliefs: Just as we can have limiting beliefs about ourselves e.g., ‘not good enough’, we can have limiting beliefs about others e.g., “too slow”, “too fast”, “not a team player”, “not resilient enough” … relative to what? There could be a different neurology at play. For example, someone with auditory processing sensitivity may need accommodations in meetings. Some of us can easily focus on what someone is saying whilst another may struggle to hear what someone is saying because they can’t easily filter out other background noises.

3. Assume good intentions. Accept and accommodate to help foster a culture of belonging. Appreciate strengths.

4. Create inclusive environments: To build rapport and create a sense of belonging and candid conversations, create comfortable communication environments. For example, the culture in meetings is often shaped by the most dominant or the majority. This may not suit everyone. Given everyone wants to be seen and heard, how can that be supported? Ask each person how meetings can be shaped to work for them. Understanding diverse needs—whether instant participation or reflective preparation, or the need for sensory-friendly spaces – encourages a collaborative and inclusive atmosphere.

5. Embrace perspective-taking: Perspective-taking is key to understanding diverse views. Situational reality often emerges after considering multiple perspectives. For example, someone withdrawing due to sensory overwhelm is not a slight, but a coping mechanism. Assume good intentions, clear up misunderstandings, and maintain positive relations. Encourage assertiveness, where open dialogue and respect for differing perspectives thrive.

6. Recognise unmet needs: 2Defensiveness, withdrawal, and anger often manifest when individuals feel unsafe, hindering effective communication. It’s crucial to recognise that these reactions may indicate unmet needs rather than mere wants. For instance, when someone withdraws from a conversation, it could be their way of seeking protection when they lack the necessary skills to navigate a conflict. In the case of defensiveness, it may stem from a fragile ego and the need for validation or support. Anger, on the other hand, is frequently employed as a defensive mechanism to shut down a conversation or distance themselves from perceived threats. Understanding the underlying needs behind these reactions can pave the way for more productive and empathetic communication.

7. Separate opinion from fact: Encourage evidence-based discussions. Be mindful of 3 Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome. It can be described as a mode of thinking where the members of a group prioritise consensus and unanimity over critical thinking, often leading to poor decisions. Encouraging open and honest communication, diversity of thought, and a willingness to challenge the status quo within a group helps to mitigate groupthink.

8. Develop emotional intelligence: Bridging the communication gap between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals presents an interesting leadership challenge. Empowering both neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals with emotional intelligence skill is a versatile tool for fostering an inclusive and compassionate world. By adapting these skills to individual needs, we can contribute to a society where everyone can thrive. Developing Emotional Intelligence together, is a continuous process requiring patience, empathy, and a commitment to mutual learning. For further insights into emotional intelligence skills, explore What are Emotional Intelligence Skills.

What are your tips on welcoming neurodiversity and unlocking its power in the workplace? What else can we do to embrace neurodiversity and create a culture of belonging? Your insights matter, so please share your thoughts and let’s continue learning from each other!

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, 1 November 2023

References:

  1. The Adult Autism Assessment Handbook: A Neurodiversity – Affirmative Approach. Authors: Davida Hartman, Tara O’Donnel, Jessica K Doyle, Dr Maeve Kavanagh, Dr Anna Day, and Dr Juliana Azevedo (2023)
  2. Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator’s Guide to Influence and Persuasion by Scott Walker (2023)
  3. Groupthink – a term coined and developed by psychologist Irving Janis. Books by Irving Janis include: Decision Making, Victims of Groupthink, and Groupthink: Psychological Studies of Policy Decisions and Fiascos