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Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): Unlocking Personal Growth with Emotional Intelligence Skills

Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): Unlocking Personal Growth with Emotional Intelligence Skills

We all carry the legacy of our childhood experiences into our adult lives. Some of these experiences can be a source of strength and resilience, while others may leave us with invisible barriers that hinder our growth and success. One such hidden obstacle is Childhood Emotional Neglect or CEN – a term coined by Dr Jonice Webb, psychotherapist, and author of “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” and “Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships”.

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)?

Put simply, the clue is in the name, it’s when a child’s emotions are neglected. CEN happens when a child’s emotional needs are not met enough of the time. CEN is not something that is done to you but what is not done. It does not need to be traumatic or dramatic, but it still leaves its mark.

CEN doesn’t imply occasional neglect of emotional needs. No parent is flawless and meeting every need all the time isn’t feasible. CEN signifies that emotional needs weren’t consistently met or were overlooked frequently. The crucial aspect here is the consistent absence of what was necessary.

Experiencing CEN doesn’t indicate that the parent or caregiver lacked love for their kids or that a person had a terrible childhood. It can happen in various family setups and is more about what’s missing. It’s more about the emotions that weren’t acknowledged, understood, or addressed, and this can be for a variety of reasons. There is no blame, there can be learning and development for personal growth, and healing with the help of therapy, where required.

What has CEN got to do with work?

If you were brought up in an environment where emotions were rarely discussed or acknowledged, as an adult you may find it difficult to express yourself, and to express your feelings in the workplace setting. You may find it difficult to form close relationships with colleagues, leading to a lack of collaboration and potential missed career opportunities.

If you were not encouraged to speak up in childhood, you may find it challenging to speak up and assert yourself during meetings, set healthy boundaries, and navigate workplace conflicts effectively. You may shrink to make others feel comfortable. A fear of asking for help, seeking support, or building meaningful relationships can stem from CEN.

CEN and diversity

In understanding the effects of CEN on professional life, it’s crucial to recognise the diverse backgrounds and intersecting identities of individuals affected by this experience. Individuals from various cultural, racial, gender, and neurodiverse backgrounds may encounter distinct challenges when navigating the workplace because of CEN. This intersectionality can significantly influence how emotions are expressed, perceived, and managed in professional settings. Acknowledging these diverse experiences is fundamental in providing tailored support to unlock the potential hindered by CEN.

Imagine two individuals, both affected by CEN, navigating their professional lives. One person, from a culturally diverse background, might have been raised in a family where emotional expression was perceived differently due to cultural norms and traditions. Their workplace interactions could be influenced by these cultural nuances, affecting how they communicate or engage with colleagues.

On the other hand, consider someone from a neurodiverse community, who might have experienced challenges in understanding and expressing emotions in ways typical in neurotypical environments. Their workplace dynamics might be impacted by these neurodiverse traits, leading to potential misunderstandings or difficulties in connecting with co-workers.

In both cases, the effects of CEN are compounded by the unique aspects of their identities, creating distinctive challenges in professional settings. Acknowledging these intersections of cultural, neurodiverse, or other diverse backgrounds is essential in comprehending the multifaceted impact of CEN on individuals’ experiences at work.

What has CEN to do with learning and developing?

We’re not magically born with the skills we need to thrive in adulthood. We need to be taught some skills. Part of learning and developing from CEN is providing you with the tools and strategies to break down the barriers created by CEN and learn the skills that were missed in childhood, all of which can help to unlock your potential.

What difference would it make to you:

  • To build healthy levels of self-esteem.
  • To understand your emotional responses, which can lead to modifying approaches for personal and professional growth, and a better-quality home and work-life.
  • To be able to say ‘no’ and set healthy boundaries to help protect your wellbeing, productivity, and maintain healthy relationships at work.
  • To overcome the fear of seeking support or fostering healthy connections with your colleagues; and to better navigate challenges in the workplace.

Clarification of approach

My clients usually present as highly capable, conscientious, and caring professionals, but deep down, they can feel flawed, as if something is missing.

I work with clients to address the impact of CEN on their professional lives. Offering a personalised coaching and development programme with development elements from CEN therapy and with your personal and professional goals in mind.

It’s important to note that as a qualified and experienced Professional Coach and Development Partner who has also trained with Dr Jonice Webb to CEN Therapy Level 2, my role is to work with a focus on your present and future while being mindful of the past. While therapy often focuses and delves into the depths of past experiences, our sessions are designed to help you identify your current challenges and future goals, breakdown limiting barriers linked to CEN, and bridge development gaps missed in childhood and in your professional life. I’m here to provide guidance, support, and practical strategies to enhance your emotional intelligence, personal growth, and professional development.

As individuals, we are all responsible for our own wellbeing and mental health. If you have experienced and not healed from trauma, therapy for trauma recovery is the priority. In the UK, the British Psychological Society offers a list of qualified and licensed psychologists of various specialisms, and a list of counsellors can be found through other membership bodies and Psychology Today.

My recommended resources for CEN can be found in the reference section below – books by Dr Jonice Webb, her article on the “10 Common Misconceptions About Emotional Neglect”, and her questionnaire to help you determine whether you have been impacted by CEN. There is another book you may also find useful, “The Drama of the Gifted Child” by Alice Miller.

If this resonates with you, and if you are interested in working with me, please join me for a relaxed and confidential chat. We can explore your situation and desired results, and how to bridge that gap, with a personalised one-to-one programme. Simply book a complimentary discovery call.

References and Resources

Books:

  1. Jonice Webb PhD with Chrisine Musello PsyD (2012). “Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect.” Morgan James Publishing.
  2. Jonice Webb PhD (2017). “Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents, and Your Children.” Morgan James Publishing.

Articles:

  1. Jonice Webb PhD (2023, March). “10 Common Misconceptions About Emotional Neglect.” Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202303/10-common-misconceptions-about-emotional-neglect

Online Resources:

  1. Webb, J. (n.d.). CEN Questionnaire. Retrieved from https://drjonicewebb.com/cenquestionnaire/
  2. British Psychological Society. (n.d.). Find a Psychologist. Retrieved from https://www.bps.org.uk/find-psychologist
  3. Psychology Today. (n.d.). Counselling Directory – United Kingdom. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling
  4. The Samaritans. (n.d.). Home. Retrieved from https://www.samaritans.org/

Note

Recognising that language and perspectives can impact different communities, we aspire to learn and evolve to ensure our content is sensitive and inclusive. We invite feedback and insights from diverse backgrounds to enhance our understanding and better support everyone who seeks our services.

Personalised Paths to Success: Your Journey, Your Growth

Personalised Paths to Success: Your Journey, Your Growth

Recently, a client approached me seeking guidance on processing the emotion of hurt. As part of our work together on developing emotional intelligence skills for workplace success, she found herself triggered by a conversation with a colleague. Recognising the importance of addressing this emotional hurdle, she felt unable to continue our development session without first working through the trigger and devising an action plan.

While I’m not a therapist, I firmly believe that processing emotions is a learnable skill and a vital aspect of emotional intelligence that empowers us to thrive in both personal and professional settings. Through therapy and the process of healing, emotional intelligence (EQ) can be developed. Additionally, by proactively learning EQ skills, we can further our healing. It’s not uncommon for me to work with professionals to develop workplace and EQ skills, who are also doing some healing work with a therapist.

Considering this, I’d like to share proactive steps for effectively managing and coping with feelings of hurt in case they may be helpful to you. Remember to be patient with yourself and seek the support  of a therapist when needed.

1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings: Allow yourself to recognise and validate your emotions. It’s okay to feel hurt, and denying or suppressing these feelings can intensify them, prolonging emotional distress.

Suppressed emotions often resurface eventually, sometimes in unexpected and intensified ways. What might have been a minor hurt initially can grow into a larger emotional issue if left unaddressed.

Unresolved feelings of hurt can affect your relationships with others. You might become more irritable, withdrawn, or resentful, which can strain your relationships and make it difficult to connect with others.

2. Identify the source: Try to understand what caused the hurt. Was it something someone said or did? Was it a particular event or situation? Understanding the source of your hurt can help you address it more effectively. Bear in mind, sometimes the best course of action is not to take any action.

3. Express yourself: Find healthy ways to express your feelings. This could include talking to a trusted friend or family member, your therapist, your coach, writing in a journal, or engaging in creative activities like art or music. Focus on processing and expressing your feelings in healthy ways when dealing with hurt.

4. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend going through a tough time. Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk such as catastrophising. Consider alternative, more balanced perspectives.

5. Practice Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment when feeling overwhelmed. Focus on your breath, notice sensory details in your environment, or engage in activities that require your full attention. What self-soothing techniques work for you?

6. Establish boundaries: If you’ve been hurt by someone else, it’s important to establish boundaries to safeguard your wellbeing. This could involve having an open and honest conversation with the person involved about your feelings and needs, and mutually understanding each other’s perspectives. Alternatively, it might mean creating some distance from the situation or individual to give yourself space to regain your sense of safety.

7. Seek support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support if you need it. This could be from friends, family, a therapist, or a coach, who can provide guidance and perspective. Consider seeking professional help if you’re struggling to cope or if your emotions are significantly impacting your daily life.

8. Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation and prioritise your well-being.

9. Practice forgiveness: I wasn’t sure whether to add this, as “forgive and forget” is often given as advice. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean condoning the behaviour that hurt you, but it can help release the emotional burden you’re carrying. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself and can be a powerful step toward healing. However, forgiveness in the context of trauma can be more myth than fact. If you’ve experienced trauma, forgiveness is not a prerequisite. Seeking help from a qualified and licensed therapist can aid in healing faster than trying to manage on your own. Ultimately, do what works best for you and your circumstances.

10. Learn and grow: Use the experience of hurt as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Reflect on what you can take away from the situation and how you can use it to become stronger and more resilient.

If you’re ready to take proactive steps toward personal and professional growth, don’t hesitate to reach out to me for an initial discussion. Together, we can explore how personalised coaching, learning, and development strategies, including developing emotional intelligence skills, can help you thrive in the workplace.

“Susan has been a wonderful guide in helping me develop and learn some new skills and practices to undo the CEN I experienced growing up. She is very understanding; a great support and I appreciated the regular check-ins.” Business Owner

 

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health and needs immediate support, please consider reaching out to organisations like the Samaritans. You can contact them on 116 123 or visit their website https://www.samaritans.org/. Remember, you’re not alone, and help is available.

Embracing Autism: A Journey of Self-Discovery & Advocacy

Embracing Autism: A Journey of Self-Discovery & Advocacy

Introducing Joyce CoomberSewell

Meet Joyce CoomberSewell, a remarkable individual with a vibrant spirit and unique perspective on life. Joyce embraces her autistic identity, and in her article below, she generously shares her experiences, challenges, and celebrations, offering insights into the intricacies of neurodiversity. With a mission to normalise autism, Joyce advocates for understanding, debunking misconceptions, and highlighting the superpowers within neurodiversity. Enjoy Joyce’s inspiring story in Embracing Autism: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Advocacy.

Introduction

Hi, my name is Joyce CoomberSewell, I am 69 years old, and I’ve always known that I am different toother people around me. By the age of four I had decided that I was probably an alien dropped from another planet.

At school, though I hung out with a group of girls, I always felt like I was on the outside. This feeling of not quite fitting in continues throughout all my life, no matter what social circles I am part of; work, social clubs, relationships, and friendships.

I have three daughters, 11 grandchildren, one great granddaughter and another great grandchild on the way. Over time six of my grandchildren have been diagnosed with autism, this prompted me to seek out my own diagnosis.

I started this journey at the age of 58, though it took me two attempts and a total of five years.

My first attempt resulted in me being diagnosed with ADHD and Dyspraxia, but I was told that as I had not managed to have the third questionnaire filled in by someone who knew me as a child, I could not be given a diagnosis of autism even though they were 98% certain that I was autistic.

On my second attempt when I was 63 I was diagnosed but have the initials NOS added on at the end. NOS stands for Not Otherwise Specified. Again, as I knew no living person who knew me as a small child I could not get one of their questionnaires filled in. This is a common problem for older people.

Understanding Neurodiversity

As an autistic person, with a normal to higher IQ, I struggle with the word neurodiversity. After all is not every single human diverse to any other human or is it just me who has never met two identical, in every way, people. My wife is an identical twin, but she and her sister have quite a few differences.

The word neurodiversity just means that the neurons in everybody’s brains are different to anyone else’s.

Challenges & Celebrations

Like for all human beings there are challenges and celebrations to our humanness. 

As an autistic these challenges and celebrations can be a little bit more unique. For instance, being part of a social gathering may not be our first choice, though for me I find these easier to cope with if I have a role to play.

Some autistics find it extremely difficult to make eye contact, though this is not something I struggle with personally. What I do struggle with is excessive hugging. I’ve learnt to do the polite quick hug, peck on the cheek thing but I’m happier with a nod and a smile.

All human beings have repetitive habits. This might be playing with your hair, tapping our feet or fingers, or pulling facial expressions et cetera. But for some reason if you are autistic the words ‘repetitive habit’ is replaced with the word ‘stimming’? 

Personal Experiences

Once I had been medically diagnosed as autistic, I found it much more freeing knowing what was the reason for my ‘differences’. I now don’t view myself as odd, unlikable or any other negative thought. In fact, I am now very, very out, and proud. I would never want to be anything other than autistic as that is who I am.

My autistic mind helps me to think way outside the box. I can come up with great ideas for not only work but also for having adventures. For example, over the summer we launched our second company, CoomberSewell Training CIC. And when we next go to Malta we will be going on a sunset horse ride along the beach. Not bad for a 69 year old, eh?

Messages for Autistic and Allistic Individuals

I often speak to other people who are already diagnosed or self-diagnosed as autistic who feel ashamed and try and hide this wonderful condition. I always encourage them to join the cause of normalising the autistic condition just like the non-autistics have normalised their non-autistic condition. After all, us autistics are the ‘A’ team.

One of my missions in life is to help the non-autistic populace to understand that autism is a superpower and should not be overlooked. Of course, there are people who have severe learning differences who should get all the love and care and support they need, but I am not talking about those individuals. I’m talking about us average autistics who have normal to higher IQs. After all, if it wasn’t for us, technology, the arts, and music would not be where they are today.

Misconceptions and Education

A lot of people within society believe that autistic people have learning difficulties. This is NOT true. We do have differences, just the same as non-autistic people do. You see in the autistic world non-autistics are the weird one’s not us.

One of the things I really enjoy doing is being a public speaker, not only to educate non-autistics but to show the autistic population that it’s okay to tell people that they are autistic. You see, the more we talk about it the more we normalise it. My hope and dream is that sometime in the future we will no longer need the labels that we need today to educate people. That in time we will see past the differences and just accept one another as fellow human beings.

Support and Advocacy

I would really encourage all different types of workplaces to have a standard training in autism. By this I don’t just mean those who work directly with individual autistic people but also the caretakers, the cleaners, the managing directors, the CEOs, and everybody in between.

The better educated everyone is on all aspects of human differences the easier it will be for us all to live side-by-side. Often people judge others out of fear about themselves and their differences. An example of this was shared to me by a lovely 83-year-old lady. She told me that when she was at school her teacher berated her because she was left-handed. She was told that she was simple, and wilful because she couldn’t write with her right hand. I put it to her that maybe her teacher felt threatened that this small little girl could do something they couldn’t do?

Looking Forward

Knowledge is the key, without knowledge misconceptions can perpetuate.

Here at CoomberSewell Enterprises Training CIC we can help you on your journey of knowledge. All of our training courses are CPD should you need this within your employment. If not, we can offer a certificate of attendance if that is more appropriate.

Our training courses are:

Autism and young people (under 18’s), Autism and older people (over 18’s), Presentation skills for the presentation phobic, and Study skills/interview skills.

Alongside this CoomberSewell Enterprises LLP offers:

Public Speaking on ‘This Is Me And My Autistic Journey’, and Proofreading, copy editing and academic transcription.

You can find more information on all these subjects by following the links to our websites: www.autism.coombersewell.co.uk and www.coombersewell.co.uk or contact us by email info@coombersewell.co.uk

Working with Meltdowns and Shutdowns

Working with Meltdowns and Shutdowns

INTRODUCTION TO MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS

Navigating the world as an autistic individual often involves encountering situations that can lead to changes of state and behaviour that are often called meltdowns or shutdowns. These meltdown or shutdown experiences, while diverse in their manifestations, often stem from overwhelming sensory, emotional, or informational inputs or stress triggers. The autistic person is struggling to process too much information at one time, and this can lead to feelings of high anxiety and overwhelm. Understanding these responses is crucial for organising support and creating accommodating environments.

Whether in a shutdown or meltdown, the individual temporarily loses control of their behaviour and is unable to express themselves any other way. Meltdowns and shutdowns are not intentional, they are survival responses. They can be misunderstood, for example, a meltdown is not a temper tantrum, and a shutdown is not the silent treatment or shyness but a self-preservation response. Please don’t judge or tease, this will just add to the overwhelm. With a state of high anxiety, flooded with sensory input, the brain becomes overwhelmed and demands a survival response from the body.

WHAT ARE THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS?

Meltdowns are noticeable, they are either a fight, flight, or flood response. This could look like someone losing their temper or even lashing out; running away; or sobbing in the hope of a rescuer. A shutdown is more discrete, possibly invisible, and is either a fawn, flop, or freeze response. This could be in the form of pleasing and appeasing in the hope of avoiding conflict and to establish a sense of safety; having a meltdown inside but showing nothing on the outside; or the body tensing up and becoming stiff, immobilised. Shutdowns can lead to feeling or becoming unresponsive, not being able to move, and can sometimes result in situational mutism, where the person is unable to communicate or speak. The individual may even fall asleep. 

Meltdowns and shutdowns are distinctive reactions for autistic individuals, each with its own unique characteristics. Consider a scenario where an autistic person experiences a meltdown: imagine being in a crowded, noisy environment with bright lights, creating a sensory overload. In response, emotions surge uncontrollably, leading to an outburst or breakdown. Conversely, in a shutdown, the same individual might withdraw and become non-responsive to cope with the overwhelming stimuli. The feelings are trapped inside when in shutdown, whereas the feelings are expressed in meltdowns.

People can experience both meltdowns and shutdowns, and the specific response may vary based on the situation.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS ACROSS NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUALS

Meltdowns and shutdowns are not exclusive to autism and can be part of the experience of neurodivergent individuals, such as ADHD or anxiety disorders. For instance, individuals with ADHD might experience overwhelm and sensory sensitivity that can lead to meltdowns, while those with anxiety disorders may be prone to shutdowns during periods of heightened stress. The specific triggers, manifestations, and responses can vary widely across neurodivergent individuals.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS IN NEUROTYPICALS

Neurotypical individuals, those without neurodivergent traits, can also experience episodes that share similarities with meltdowns and shutdowns, albeit with some differences in terminology and context. For example, a neurotypical individual might experience an emotional breakdown or a state of emotional overwhelm, which can have similarities to a meltdown. Similarly, a neurotypical person might describe periods of withdrawal, emotional shutdown, or burnout, which can align with the concept of shutdowns.

While terminology may differ, the underlying experiences of intense emotional states, sensory overload, or emotional withdrawal can be present in individuals across the neurodiversity spectrum. It’s crucial to recognise that everyone, regardless of neurodivergent status, can have moments of emotional distress or times when they need to manage sensory and emotional wellbeing.

FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS IN AUTISTIC INDIVIDUALS

The heightened prevalence of meltdowns and shutdowns in autistic individuals can be attributed to a combination of factors such as heighted sensory processing compared with neurotypicals, being neurodivergent in a predominantly neurotypical world, as well as individual differences. Understanding and acknowledging the diverse experiences of meltdowns and shutdowns contribute to fostering a more supportive environment.

By embracing the neurodiversity paradigm, we can appreciate the unique perspectives everyone brings, recognising that everyone, regardless of neurotypical-neurodivergent status, can all have our moments of emotional distress. Let’s continue the drive of designing a world that celebrates and supports the rich variety of neurological experiences! With that in mind, let’s delve into examples of causes and triggers of meltdowns and shutdowns, and possible coping strategies and prevention techniques.

MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS – CAUSES AND TRIGGERS

To the observer, it can look like something small has triggered a meltdown or shutdown, but it is usually a build-up of multiple daily stress factors. For example:

    • Chronic high demand situations such as juggling unrealistic deadlines with a lack of resource, in an unfriendly sensory environment and in an unsupportive culture … unfortunately this is a typical workplace for some! This can feel more like white-knuckle-riding through work-life rather than thriving.
    • High demand situations such as networking events where the autistic individual may feel socially unsafe because we have different wiring to allistics when it comes to socialising as well as being a minority group. 
    • Very emotional situations such as conflict situations.
    • Sensory overload such as bright lights, noise, crowds, itchy clothing.
    • Experiencing changes without warning.
    • Basic needs that have been overlooked such as thirst, hunger, pain, and exhaustion.

PREVENTING, REDUCING, AND RECOVERING FROM SHUTDOWNS AND MELTDOWNS

Before experiencing a meltdown or shutdown, many people will show signs of distress or anxiety. There could be pacing, repetitive questions, repetitive statements or expressions, repetitive body movements or repetative movement of objects, more masking, or being quieter and more withdrawn than usual.

To minimise these experiences, recognising triggers plays a vital role. Different people will have different triggers and responses. The best thing to do is to consider triggers and needs when in a calm state, not when in a meltdown or shutdown. That way you can work out specific needs and agree a plan for the best way to prevent, reduce, and recover from a meltdown or shutdown going forward.  Here are a few things that can help:

    • Learn to self-advocate for your needs, or ask for advocacy support. Knowing there is moral and practical support goes a long way.
    • Take time out to reset and remember that this will only be temporary. A quick way to recover and recharge is to find flow in an activity you love, perhaps a hobby or favourite movie or TV programme. 
    • Identify or create quiet spaces to help reduce sensory overload – if the space can be equipped with sensory-friendly items like noise-cancelling headphones, fidget toys, or weighted blankets, all the better. 
    • Remove any objects, people, or sounds that are creating sensory overload, if possible.
    • Practice breathing techniques, or other self-soothing techniques, so that you can automatically use them when needed or model them for someone else. Breathe in for 5 to 6 seconds, then breathe out for 5 to 6 seconds. This can help calm the amygdala and reset the mind and body. Shallow breathing sets off the amygdala.
    • Muscle relaxation techniques can help calm the amygdala. Tense and relax the muscles where the tension usually sits. For example, quickly tense your hands into fists then relax them with your palms facing upwards.
    • Create an event timetable or form predictable routines to provide a sense of structure and security. This helps prevent overwhelming situations.
    • Accommodations play a crucial role – simple adjustments like flexible work schedules, allowing breaks, providing clear communication, and creating sensory-friendly environments can make a significant difference to wellbeing, working relationships, and productivity. 
    • Avoid asking questions, giving information or instructions, teasing, or using restrictive methods, when someone is in a meltdown or shutdown. This will most likely increase sensory overload and would likely make the situation worse.
    • Continually enhance emotional intelligence skills. The more self-aware we are, the more we can understand and communicate our needs, and understand others’ needs. Together we can be in a healthier place! Bear in mind that for some individuals, the difficulty in identifying emotions might stem from past trauma or overwhelming experiences. When trauma hinders the recognition of emotions, focus on creating a safe and supportive environment. Employing strategies that promote a sense of safety and trust can gradually facilitate emotional identification and regulation.

THE FAR-REACHING IMPACT OF MELTDOWNS AND SHUTDOWNS

Now, we shift our focus to the profound impact that meltdowns and shutdowns can have on an individual’s quality of life. 

Lucy’s Story: A Case Study

Take Lucy for instance, a newly qualified hairdresser who experienced sensory overload in a new working environment, prompting her resignation within a week due to the change in environment. The salon she had dedicated three years to closed and relocated, adding an extra bus journey to her daily commute. The previous salon offered modern subdued and mood lighting, ample space for personal comfort, and a culture that was welcoming, friendly, and supportive – a truly nurturing environment, that both employees and clients enjoyed. In contrast, the new salon was smaller, brighter, and crowded, with a less welcoming and supportive culture heavily influenced by dominant personalities. The overwhelming lighting, noise, densely populated space, and less supportive work culture, became too much for Lucy, leading to frequent shutdowns. This was on top of her busy peak-hour bus journeys to and from work. No doubt clients who transferred to the new salon, clients with with sensory issues like Lucy, were forced to find a new hairdressing salon too!

Accommodations and support in personal and professional life

The culture of the new salon was, “if I can do it, so can everyone else.” While no one intended harm in this situation, awareness of healthy resilience, and awareness about hidden traits, coupled with positive action can make a substantial difference to the quality of people’s lives.

Lucy is now recovering from her experience and career derailment. In her new job search, she is seeking a sensory friendly environment coupled with a professional and welcoming culture.

This was an insight into shutdowns. For a fantastic thorough insight into meltdowns, try listening to or reading “Strong Female Character” by Fern Brady.

CONCLUSION

The goal of this article is to promote understanding, compassion, and support. Autism is a spectrum, and people may have different preferences, sensitivities, and experiences. This was Lucy’s unique experience. Each person’s journey is distinct, and the impact of meltdowns and shutdowns can vary widely.

Awareness and positive action are pivotal in supporting autistic individuals who experience meltdowns and shutdowns. By fostering a welcoming environment and acknowledging the unique needs of each person, we can create spaces where autistic individuals can thrive too. Well-designed spaces and supportive nurturing cultures are better not just for autistic individuals, but for most people.

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, 30 January 2024

References

  1. Meltdowns and Shutdowns – Autism Space, Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust
  2. Meltdowns – a guide for all audiences, National Autistic Society
  3. The University of Edinburgh Autism Awareness and Acceptance
  4. “Taming Your Amygdala” by Catherine M Pittman PhD
  5. “Strong Female Character” Audiobook by Fern Brady, Publisher Brazen Feb 2023
Inclusivity in Action: Challenges to Opportunities

Inclusivity in Action: Challenges to Opportunities

Inclusivity in Action:

Transforming Challenges into Opportunities

Understanding Challenges in Diversity

Diversity and inclusion are vital aspects of fostering an enabling and thriving organisational culture. Proactive efforts to accommodate various needs and empower individuals to contribute their best, helps create that enabling and thriving organisational culture.

Consider Sara, Autistic ADHD Dyslexic, a professional who faced challenges while tasked with taking meeting minutes in a new business setting. The meetings, lasting around two hours, involved ten attendees, and were filled with new terminologies she was struggling to grasp. Despite attempts to record sessions (an accommodation), the poor sound quality hindered effective playback, leaving Sara in a difficult position to provide accurate minutes.

Sara was highly anxious and worried about how her inability to take minutes would be viewed by her new employer and team members. She was concerned whether the Head of Services would warm to the idea of changing how the meetings were run. As it turned out, this scenario sparked discussions and ideas on how to accommodate Sara while ensuring the business received comprehensive meeting minutes.

Exploring Accommodation Possibilities

Some suggestions included removing the task and reallocating it to another team member, leveraging better recording technology (technology that could record and transcribe), revising meeting structures, or seeking summarised key points at the end of each agenda item.

Sara brought up taking medication as a potential solution but was concerned about the side effects. The team appreciated her vulnerability in bringing this up as an option and respected her decision not to take medication.

The team decided to take the opportunity to revamp the way meetings are chaired to support Sara in her minute-taking task and ensure succinct actionable minutes are taken. Sometimes accommodating needs is an opportunity to enhance ways of working which also benefits others and the business.

Reshaping Organisational Culture

The conversations around accommodating Sara’s needs reflect a pivotal opportunity to reshape the organisational culture from the bottom-up. Adapting meeting procedures not only supports Sara but can enhance overall efficiency, benefiting the entire team and the business. This improved way of working could be rolled out to other teams in due course.

The process of accommodating diverse needs within a team might initially present challenges and require patience. Yet, these adjustments can offer opportunities for growth and innovation, leading to a more supportive and efficient working environment.

Ultimately, finding the right accommodations for Sara—and any individual within a team—requires an open dialogue and willingness to explore a variety of solutions. Embracing diversity isn’t just about meeting legal requirements; it’s about nurturing an environment where every member feels valued and empowered to contribute their unique strengths.

Conclusion: Nurturing Diversity for Success

In conclusion, accommodating diverse needs in the workplace isn’t merely a task; it’s an opportunity to shape a more supportive and efficient organisational culture—one where individuals like Sara can thrive and contribute meaningfully.

I hope this blog is interesting and useful to you. We all have our unique strengths and challenges, and finding what accommodations work best for you, and others, is a journey. What accommodations have worked for you, others, and your business? I’d love to hear from you.

Written by Susan Douglas, Work-Life Flow, on 5 December 2023

 

 

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Embracing Neurodiversity with Emotional Intelligence: 8 Ways to Improve Communications in the Neurodiversity Spectrum.